Friday, January 14, 2011

Dear Birthmother

I am going to share a very personal letter with you today.  This letter came from my heart.  It is our "Dear Birthmother" letter.   This was a very challenging letter to write.  I was trying to keep in mind how a birth mother would be feeling as she read our letter and what words would comfort her as she made, what seemed to me, to be an impossible decision.  We couldn't possibly understand where each other was coming from, but I felt that there had to be some common ground for us to meet.  The agency told us that you never know what one peice of information may draw a birth mother to you, so we should be thorough and full of detail.  This is our letter.

Dear Birthmother,

Selecting a future home and family for your child is a very difficult and important decision.  We greatly respect and appreciate your need to know about us and the kind of home that we would provide for your child.  By gaining some insight into our lives, we hope your uncertainties will be relieved.

We have been happily married for 5 years.  As time has passed, we have become true "soul mates", whose personalities compliment each other.  The love, friendship and mutual respect grows with  each year we are married.  Our home is filled with warmth, laughter and wonderful experiences with family and friends.  Our goal as parents is to share this life with children and to give them all the joys, love, educational opportunities and adventures that help create healthy, happy children and adults.  Jerry and I have agreed that when we are blessed with a child, that I will be able to stay at home with them.

Jerry and I are both  the oldest children in our families.  Our parents instilled in us an understanding of the value of close family ties and a strong faith.  Although our lives are full of many things, family is our primary focus. Our parents look forward to the joy of being grandparents and watching Jerry and I live our dream of being a mother and a father.  This will be the first grandchild for both sided of the family.

We are very fortunate that our families get along very well and quite often, we spend holidays all together.  Our parents went on a cruise together this year to celebrate their anniversaries.  This, is a source of great joy for Jerry and I to know that we have successfully merged our two families. We also have a very sweet and loving 4 year old Cocker Spaniel named Lucy.  She is a very important part of our family and can't wait to have a playmate.

Together we enjoy many activities.  We love to golf with family and friends or just the two of us.  We both like running.  Recently we ran a 5K race in memory of a child who sadly passed very young.  We plan to run the Thanksgiving Day Turkey Trot in Detroit this year.  We enjoy cider mill trips every year.  Fishing is big at our house too.  One of our most favorite things to do together is to go to sporting events.  Remodeling projects around the house are very challenging, but gratifying for us. We are not afraid to tackle the "unknown".  Jerry also loves to play league basketball with his friends, while I sit in the cheering section.  I love reading, scrapbooking and exercise of any kind.  I enjoy flower gardening and baking. Cookies are my favorite.  My mom and I have an annual Christmas cookie bake day where we bake cookies all day long.  Its a great tradition that I would love to share with a child.  There is room for a "little one" in all that we do. 

Our home is in a small community on a lake with a beach. There is plenty of fishing, swimming and turtle collecting going on in the summer and kids go skating and play hockey on the in the winter.  We have lots of squirrels, bunnies, chipmunks and beautiful birds.  Lemonade stands are a favorite pastime for the kids in our neighborhood.  The elementary and middle schools are in our subdivision, along with a horse farm with in walking distance.  One of the reasons that we chose this home is because the school district is very highly regarded.   We have many children in the immediate area of our home.  We have a spacious home with 4 bedrooms and a fantastic view of the sunset.  We have already started working on the new baby's room in anticipation.

Jerry and I have been unable to have children by birth and the decision to adopt was natural for us. Through every step of our journey, we have drawn great strength from our faith in God.  We truly feel that we have been blessed to find each other and are committed to having a strong, loving and fun marriage.  We long to share all of our joys and blessings with our future child.  Our family and friends have been supportive of our decision to adopt a child.  We are committed to making a child's life as full and as rich as ours have been.  We are committed to making you, the child's birthmother, feel secure in the knowledge that your child is growing up in a loving and healthy environment.  We promise that your child will know the great love you feel and the unselfish sacrifice that you made when you entrusted this young life to us to raise in our loving family.

Thank you very much for considering us.  God Bless you in your decision.

Jerry and Amy

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  1. While my road to motherhood was very different from yours I am still enthralled with your story and can't wait to read more. My heart bursts for you and your family. I did not know you then, and maybe we wouldn't have "clicked" as we do now, but I do know that anyone who reads this who is in the same situation will benefit from your blog, and your story. Keep it up!

  2. I am truly enjoying your blog and look forward to reading it every day! As long as you keep posting, I will keep reading - I love it!

  3. Amy, even though my children are already grown, I would have picked you and Jerry if I was ever in a situation where I couldn't care for them. God bless you and your beautiful family!

  4. Amy,

    You are a wonderful writer. I look forward everyday to your newest post, I think u may have a nook here! I am sorry you had to go through so much, but I thank you for sharing it.

  5. Thanks for the feedback. :)


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