Thursday, January 20, 2011


Once there were two women who never knew each other
One you do not remember, the other you call Mother

Two different lives shaped to make you one
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun

The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it
The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it

One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name
One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim

One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried you tears

One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do
The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you.

Now, which of these two women, Are you the product of?
Both, my darling, Both, Just two different types of love.
---- Unknown

Isn't that just beautiful?  That is how I feel about it, exactly.  I fell in love with this quote.  Now, I know, that I don't have to tell you that, I did NOT get much sleep that first night after finding out about the baby.  My mind went in every direction that you can imagine.  Excitement mixed with fear and worry for the baby at the hospital.  I wondered if his birthmommy was feeding him, or would the nurses be doing that?  Does she want to see him or would she rather not?  Do I have the right to even ask these questions yet?  Will we get to meet her?  Millions of questions swirling through my mind.  I couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking about and was she excited to meet us...?...or scared..?    We don't even know if she wants an open adoption or closed.  I didn't really care, all I knew was that a little baby boy was laying in that nursery and he needed a mommy and a daddy.  Even though, I was scared to believe in all of this, I could feel God's hand on my shoulder and he was whispering "it's OK, He will be Yours." 

That morning, I packed up our little bag, so that once we got to the hospital, we could stay ALL DAY!  On our drive, I brought up the whole "name thing" again.  Jerry was open to my suggestion of discussing it.  He knew that I had always loved the name Jacob.  He threw out a few options as well, but something kept telling me that Jacob was it.  He agreed it would be Jacob. Great!  I never dreamed that this would be how we would name our child. Usually, people pine over this decision in 9 months.Anyways, we arrived at the clinic and it looked packed.  This clinic was not in the best part of town, but that's what happens when you get out the phonebook and pick one close to the hospital. We signed in an sat down....and sat....and sat....what is the matter with THESE people????  Don't they KNOW that our whole life is hinging on this STINKEN physical?????  They were in no hurry and it was making me INSANE.  Now at this point, calm level headed Jerry, knows that his lovely wife of 5 blissful years is about to BLOW a Nut.....Three hours we sat in that $%#&* clinic. Finally, we got out of there without anyone losing their head and were on our way to the hospital.  We were armed with everything we needed in order to meet our little boy.....Nothing was gonna stop us now.  We walked into the hospital, and standing there was our social worker waiting for us.  We sat down in the waiting room and signed a few papers and she checked everything over.   Everything was in order.  She says, "I know that I told you to come prepared with a name picked out, but you need to know that the birthmother decided to name him."  That's ok, I thought to myself.  She has earned it in my mind.  She told us, that it would be no problem to change the name to whatever we wanted when we went to court.  Ok.  So, we told her that we had chosen the name Jacob.  She looked at me with the biggest smile and said, "well, he is meant to be a Jacob, because that is the name that the birthmother gave him as well.  I got chills in that moment.  Another sign that we were on the right track.  Then, she said, "she does want to meet you".   Yikes!  I wasn't prepared for that.  We both took a deep breath, looked at each other and I said, "now it was time to head up and meet our little Jacob."

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