Saturday, January 15, 2011

Putting yourself out there...exposed.

WoW.  Last night I was laying awake, thinking about yesterdays post.  It brought back some of those old feelings that we went through.  When we were waiting for a birthmother to select us, we felt so exposed.  In our scrapbook to show the world that we were "worthy" of being parents, we put it all out there.  Imagine that.  It was not easy for my husband Jerry to do that.  By nature, he is a very private person and he had to really reach down deep in order to put himself out there.  I was very proud of him because, I know that most men would not be comfortable doing so.   I am realizing through this blogging thing, that him and I have really grown a lot from those two scared people, who had a dream and kept running into walls at every turn.....but, we never gave up.  We would just pick up the pieces and look for another road to travel.  Quiting was NEVER an option for either one of us.  I do understand how some people come to the decision to stop and accept that they will not be parents.  Figuring it all out can be so exhausting both mentally and emotionally.  Sometimes, I would look at my little Lucy and think, well, I love dogs, maybe I could just get a few more of them and be happy.  Those thoughts quickly dissolved for me. 

Though we were just at the beginning of a new road and scared to death that this adoption path may not pan out either, there was a level of excitement brewing in our hearts.  The thought of a precious little bundle, out there somewhere, looking for US, was enough to keep us going.  We believed it would happen.  Someday. We still had our final visit with the social worker to complete and then we were ready......Bring It On!!!!!

This morning when I woke up I heard 4 little voices arguing over the Wii and I just smiled......thankful.

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