Guardian Angel over my Shoulder

October 2004
I am standing at the nurses station looking at this sheet of paper that is asking me what my child's name will be.  I can't see her until this paperwork is signed.  Hmmm.  We touched on a name or two on the ride over, but this is a huge decision.  I can't just whip one up.  I seriously thought that this child was going to be a boy.  What should we name her?  I don't know.  We both like Elizabeth.  Nope, that's not it.  He likes Stacy......Nope, that's not it.  Every time I said a name on the way over, Jerry had some reason to shoot it down.  He kept recalling kids from his elementary years and there was some negative thought connected to the name.  I know you've heard people do that.  We all do. 

As I stood there, trying to think, my wonderful husband looks at me and says...."you decide.  I will support whatever you choose."  DUMP. (just kidding) That really didn't surprise me.  He just wants me to be happy.  In 15 years of marriage, I have learned that when he says that, he means it. 

So.... I know that my name comes from the name Amanda.  I have always loved that name.  Amanda is Latin and means, precious thing.  Perfect. It is feminine.  Its not common, but not obscure.  Somewhere in the middle.  That's IT. Amanda.  Tonight, our precious little pink angel was sent down from heaven to forever change our family.  As I wrote her full name on that sheet of paper, I got a chill down my spine.  Someone was watching over me in that moment.  Someone helped me get here to this moment.  The moment that my daughter came into the world.  Thank you Guardian Angel.  I won't let you down.  I will cherish her and keep her for as long as I live on this earth.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

SHOCK!

Journal entry dated November 11, 2000 - I am still in SHOCK.  Shaking. My stomach feels like I am in an airplane and we are experiencing turbulence.  Today is Veterans Day and since Jerry had the day off, we decided to go hang out with Jerry's parents and maybe do a little Christmas shopping.  We were sitting on the couch chatting when the phone rang.  My mother in law answered it and came around the corner from the kitchen and whispered to me, "its the adoption agency".  She says, "they said they have been looking for you".  I told her to "RELAX, we finished our home study yesterday and they probably have a question for us." I picked up the phone and said "Hello".  The next few minutes, I would be silent and frozen in my footsteps, for fear that I may be misunderstanding our Social workers words.  "We have a baby boy here at the hospital and the mother has selected you and Jerry to become the adoptive parents."  Not sure that I
Read more

Dear Birthmother

I am going to share a very personal letter with you today.  This letter came from my heart.  It is our "Dear Birthmother" letter.   This was a very challenging letter to write.  I was trying to keep in mind how a birth mother would be feeling as she read our letter and what words would comfort her as she made, what seemed to me, to be an impossible decision.  We couldn't possibly understand where each other was coming from, but I felt that there had to be some common ground for us to meet.  The agency told us that you never know what one peice of information may draw a birth mother to you, so we should be thorough and full of detail.  This is our letter. Dear Birthmother, Selecting a future home and family for your child is a very difficult and important decision.  We greatly respect and appreciate your need to know about us and the kind of home that we would provide for your child.  By gaining some insight into our lives, we hope your uncertainties will be relieved.
Read more