Thursday, March 3, 2011

Hello Little Amanda

Here we go again with the long silent walk down the hallway towards the door that would reveal our daughter to us.  Honestly, when we are on this walk, a quiet solitude comes over me.  No thoughts.  Just anticipation.  We haven't seen our birthmother in almost three years now.  I wonder if she looks the same.  I wonder how she has been.  We didn't get to see her after Cameron was born.  She didn't want to see us.  We were never told why, but we naturally assumed that she was uncomfortable with seeing us that time.  As the door swung open, I could hear her talking to Amanda.  She was cradling her.  She looked at me with a huge smile, and tear filled eyes, and said, "you got your girl".  We chit chatted briefly and then, she looked at Amanda and said goodbye and extended her out to me.  When I took her into my arms, I fell in love immediately.  She was so beautiful.  She looked like Jacob.  I saw that right away.  I looked at Jerry across the room and once again, he had that Proud Daddy look in his eyes.  I love that look.  Even though this was our 3rd time in this position, every time is like the first.  This amazing little being is here.  Here to explore the world and we get the honor of watching her do so.  We are the two luckiest people in the world.  How did we get this lucky?  We said our goodbyes and as we left the room.....I heard our birth mom cry.  I know that she is in pain, but she is confident in her decision.  I could see that in her eyes.  A part of me wants to console her as a mother would, but I know that the best thing that I can do for her is to honor her decision and to be the best MOM that I can for these children.  That, I WILL DO.

Welcome Beautiful Baby Amanda!

Very Proud Daddy

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