Friday, April 29, 2011

"Can't Wait to Share" Moment

Today, I had one of those moments where you are provoked to experience many different emotions all in about 30 seconds, and I thought to myself  I "Can't wait to share" this.

This morning, like many mornings, I was taking my Benjamin to preschool and on the way, I stopped off at the local TIM HORTON's for a Butter Caramel Coffee with double sugar....cuz that's how I roll.  I was next to order, and I noticed that the truck in front of me, wasn't pulled up far enough for me to get to the speaker, and of course, I thought to myself, "move up butthead". Lol.   I have learned not to say these things out loud in front of my little sweetheart, since he has the BIGGEST ear drums EVER.  I looked in the side view mirror of that truck and I could see this man looking right back at me.  Ewe, it felt a little creepy.  Anyways, I finally got to order, and moved up to the window.  So, I am fumbling through my very organized wallet, haha, and I was dropping coins and feeling rushed.  This very chirpy 19 year old at the window, smiles and says, "The driver ahead of you, paid for your  coffee".  "Excuse me", I said.  She repeated very slowly, "your coffee has been paid for by the guy ahead of you." 

Very few people know that I just love surprises.  Those close to me, know that it is NOT easy to surprise me.  So, in that moment when I realized that someone had done something nice for me, I was befuddled.  Yes, I said Befuddled.  At first, I smiled and said to the chirpy teenager, "well, that's a first".    I drove away with an awkwardly dorky smile on my face, hoping that this person in the truck was loooooooong gone.  No such luck.  What do I do?  Wave?  Pretend that I don't see him?  I don't know how to act.  He could be a serial killer.  Right?  He could be hitting on me, right?  HeeHee.   My emotions went from surprise, to nervous, to scared, and back to surprise.  By then he was gone.

Here's a thought!  Maybe he did it just to be a kind human being.  Why is that so hard to accept.  Have I become hardened to the small random act of kindness?  Very sad.  I decided that, it felt weird, because, these things don't happen to me very often with random strangers. I have many friends and family who are kind to me everyday, but this was truly a new experience.  I decided to embrace the experience positively and decided that I would pay it forward. Once I did, I wished that I had waved to that man in that truck to say thanks. 

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Minute to Win it

 Wow.  Nothing like an INSANE morning to take your mind off the sadness in your heart.  Sometimes our mornings feel like I am a contestant on Minute to Win it.  Picture back is killing me due to a flippin car accident 8 MONTHS ago, so I am operating on some serious muscle relaxers....I am not what I used to be, but that is a whole new blog for the future.  Everyone had issues this morning.  No one wanted anything that I offered for breakfast, and to be honest, I was offering up easy peasy stuff, due to time constraints. We packed lunches and I listened to moaning and groaning about them not wanting healthy stuff.  I hate packing lunches.  Only 1 of my kids will take a sandwich.  I struggle to be creative these days.  Muscle relaxers do that to your brain.   My daughter Amanda (6) could not line the seam of her sock up just right and my solution...go with no socks, but that was falling on deaf ears.  She's at the age that she, of course, knows WAY MORE that her "old" mom.  She was having no part of the cinnamon toaster waffles today.  Hey, in my defense.....I added butter and even put extra cinnamon on those baby's.  No go for her.  My 10 y/o Jacob had to lug in to school his poster board project in a garbage bag, since it was pouring down rain.  He also needed to bring in food to go with his project. Add the backpack, and we are now at the point, where we are really pushing him beyond what he will tolerate.  I offered to drive him to school, but for some reason, that would not be cool.  We must drag all of this stuff on the bus so that we can make mad faces at mom through the window.  My very responsible son Cameron (9), wanted to take his Lava Lamp to school to share with his classmates.  No Prob.  I wrapped it in a towel, gave him a special bag, but he was so nervous that he would break it, he very kindly asked me to drive him to school.  Ok, so I am going to school anyways.  On top of everything going on this morning, my 4 year old, is playing Mario Kart for Wii, and every time that he lost his race, he was yelling at the TV, "this is NOT fair",  and big giant tears came streaming down his very adorable face.   Needless to say, they all got off on their way, 2 rode the bus and one took the mom taxi.  I've nuked my coffee for the third time.  Time to breathe.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Broken Hearts

My emotions are still whirling....yesterdays news still weighing on my mind.  There are no words for things like this.  This child was so anticipated.  The preparation and planning opens your heart.  The excitement builds with each day closer to the birthmoms due date.  You have never seen this child, and yet you love it so much.  Your bond strengthens each day.  This news is devastating, not only to the adoptive parents, but the birthmother as well.  This child was a piece of my children... this child was from their birthmother.  My children are hurting.  Many hearts are aching over the loss of this child......I am praying for strength for all involved.  Especially for M&M.

   The angels are always near to those who are grieving, to whisper to them that their loved ones are safe in the hand of God.  ~Quoted in The Angels' Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994

Monday, April 25, 2011

A Light that Still Shines On

My heart is breaking today for some dear friends.  The child that they were preparing to adopt, was stillborn today.

The world may never notice
If a Snowdrop doesn't bloom,
Or even pause to wonder
If the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way
For all eternity.

The little one we long for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts know what to do.
Every beating of our hearts
Says that we do love you.

Hug your babies tight and be forever thankful.

Thursday, April 21, 2011


Journal entry dated April 21, 2011 - I am overwhelmed by the support that I have recieved from all of my mom friends....the ones that KNOW how hard the job of Mother is.  They know that I am pretty tough...usually.  I am down these days.  Life has thrown me a few curves lately and I am trying to be SUPERWOMAN.  I don't have the equipment to be SUPERWOMAN right now...and my friends reminded me that I don't have to be.  When you are a mother in a community, you develop different relationships with women.  Some, you are super close to and can always count on them.  Some, you reconnected with from the past and are great FB friends. Some, you just see at school and on the sport fields, but you know that in a pinch, they would be there for you.  Some, you can go have a drink with and vent all night and laugh your worries away. Some, you were in playgroups with when your kids were young and even though you are not in the same schools now, if you see them Target, you could stand there for hours and catch up while your youngest climbs the shelves of bedding.  True Story.  Some, you only see at the bus stop, but together you've watched each others kids grow from little kindergartners and you know that you can trust them with your children's lives.  Yes, there are all kinds.        I have all of them.          I   AM    LUCKY

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Taking a Break

Hello readers!  I thank you for following my blog.  It has been great writing and sharing the story of my family with you.  I am going to take a break for awhile, as I have some personal issues to tend to and when I get a handle on them, I will be back.  Please sign in on my Guestbook. I have met so many great people since beginning my blog and look forward to continuing that in the future.  Please continue to share my blog with anyone that you think could be comforted by it.  Thanks!

Please help me make a decision.  Question:  Should I write a book, so that I can share more of the story or just continue the blogging???Vote in Footer.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Read Your Kids Faces

You know how you can read your kids faces, the minute you see them after being separated all day?  You can tell whether it was a good or a bad day.  You can tell whether they have a secret to tell or if someone hurt their feelings on the bus.  They can't hide any of it from you.  After four kids, I have gotten pretty good at it.  Well, today, one of my kids surprised me.  I had a difficult day today.  I received some news that was upsetting and I really had not had a chance to "really" process all of it by the time the bus was coming.  It was 3:57 and the bus arrived.  First off was my daughter Amanda and she was crying....I wasn't surprised, because her teacher had called me just before to tell me that Amanda had misplaced her soccer ball at school.  Hugs and kisses for Amanda.  Second off the bus was Jacob, who walked up to me, hugged me and then ran off with a friend.  Third off was my son Cameron.  Walking towards me, he said, "what's wrong Mom"......  I said, "nothing."  He said, "Mom, don't tell me nothing", I can see it in your eyes".  "You look sad".  This child knows his Mommy.  Of course, I didn't get into detail, but confirmed to him that I had difficult day, but assured him that it was nothing to worry about.  It made me feel good that he noticed and cared to ask.  I wasn't expecting that from a nine year old......boy.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

That's My Girl

I must share a very exciting thing that is happening around our house this week.  On Tuesday night, I was opening the mail and as I went through the pile, there was an envelope that said TO THE PARENTS OF Amanda!  You know the feeling that you get when you see that.  It is either something bad.  Or something you will have to "work on".  Or possibly something GREAT.  Thankfully, it was something GREAT.  Apparently, someone has nominated my little six year old to be honored by the city Optimist Club for outstanding service to her community.  We have no idea who or why she has been nominated, but will find out at the ceremony.   Is that exciting or what?  As mom's, we do not recieve a "paycheck" for what we do, but our payment comes in the form of how well our children succeed as HUMAN beings.We are very proud and I just wanted to share with you.

Have a great day.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Sensory Process WHAT?????

Journal entry dated March 30, 2007 - Jacob's Journal - You are 6 years old now and quite an amazing little kindergartner.  You have had quite a year.  Your teacher has been very instrumental in getting you where you need to be.  We learned that you have something called SPD (Sensory Process Disorder).  It took a while to get with the right program, but you are in therapy with an occupational therapist.  You are going through what they call Sensory Integration.  They think, that birth, your Vestibular portion of your nervous system stopped developing due to traumatic birth or something during pregnancy.  I has caused you some difficulty with your fine motor skills and crossing mid line development.  We are having great success with the program.  Everything is improving.  I know that I am driving you crazy with all the exercises, brushing and the music stimulation, but it will make a huge difference in your life if we can over come the problems.  You are a very determined little boy.  You have an incredible ability to focus on the task at hand.  We shall conquer.
This was a difficult time for us.  Jacob was in therapy for 2 years at $100 per week.  Yeah.  Add that one up. Lol.  Just kidding.  It was worth all the sacrifice.  We loved our therapists, and they taught us a lot that we could do at home.  In the beginning when he was diagnosed, they scared me.  I had never heard of SPD.  We followed everything to the letter.  I was a "psycho mom", (just ask Jerry).  The one thing that I want to pass on to anyone else that may go through this, is this.  The therapists told me to steer him towards individual sports, because he would probably not be successful in team sports.  Unfortunately, his passions were for soccer, basketball, baseball, hockey and football.  We did not listen to that advice.  We did everything we could to encourage him to do it all.  Thank GOD we did.  He is a great athlete.  He just finished his first season of travel basketball and did fantastic.  He got his first 3 pointer in a game in the last game of playoffs.  He is starting his 4th season of soccer and was on 2 championship flag football teams in which he quarterbacked as well as other positions.  Yes, it was a struggle to get him there, but honestly, at this point, we see very few signs of the SPD anymore.   For information about SPD, visit Sensory Process Disorder Foundation .

If you have questions for me, please click on the contact me button in upper right of my blog.


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

2011 Mommy and Me Photo Contest - Adoption Photos - Adoptive Families

2011 Mommy and Me Photo Contest - Adoption Photos - Adoptive Families

I saw Tears in Her Eyes

May 2006

As we walked into the McDonald's, I was scanning the place, looking for her or our agency rep.  Whew.  They aren't here yet.  We got some goodies and settled in.  If you have kids, you will understand that once the food is consumed, the kids are ready to go.  So you can understand that after 45 minutes of waiting, my blood was starting to boil a bit.  Just a bit.  The kids were doing well, but their energy level was escalating.   Suddenly, I realized as I was looking at Amanda, that she has this big SHINER.  I forgot about that.  OMG!  Just great.  She has no hair yet at 19 months, she is wearing hand-me down jeans from her brothers and she has a big black eye.  I am exaggerating, but at that moment, it looked huge to me.  Just lovely.  Here she is meeting her birth mother and she looks like a little boy with a shiner.  We ran out of the house so fast, that I never looked at them to see if they were "presentable".  I know that this sounds paranoid, but not to another adoptive mom.  You always feel like you are being evaluated as a mother.  I don't know how to change that. 

Anyways, they walked in.  She looked beautiful.  Her hair was pulled back and her make-up was pretty.  I immediately saw Amanda resembled her quite a bit. WOW.  I noticed that before in pics, but it is nothing compared to seeing it in person.  I could see that she was nervous.  We hugged.  We sat down.  She just started to chit chat with each of them.  My kids absolutely love people, so they were telling her all of their stories.  We laughed a lot.  I could see her taking them in.  She talked about her own children with them and commented on similarities that she saw between hers and mine.  My nerves were gone.  We had regained that comfort between us.  I asked her if I could get a picture of her with each child, so that they would each have their own moment with her captured.  Who knows if we will ever see her again.  We took pictures and started our goodbyes.

When I pulled her aside to have a moment alone, I asked her if this was good for her, or painful.  She paused, and swallowed really hard and then I saw a tear in her eyes.  "It's bittersweet", she said.  I told her that, I realized that she must think of them often and especially on their birthday.  She said, "yes, those are the really hard days".  I told her that we think of her too, on those days.   Then, I decided to ask the question that I always want to know the answer to.  "Can they come look for you when they feel like they need to?"  She said, "I don't know how I feel about that yet."  I said, "ok".

I have to respect that.  It is not what I wanted to hear, but it is just another part of adoption, in which I as the parent cannot control.  I hope that someday, she will be open to it, but for now, I will just continue to respect her and her decisions.
So momma duck and her ducklings headed home.

Monday, April 11, 2011

A Meeting with our Birth MOM

Late May 2006

So, it is a Spring day today full with sunshine.  My baby is 4 weeks old.  My older children are 5yrs, 4yrs and 18 months.  I was handling things pretty well.  Amanda is a little helper.  The boys were excited about the change of season and getting to play outside.  We were thoroughly enjoying the day.  I had not really ventured out much on my own with the four of them, other than to take Jacob and Cameron to preschool for the remaining few weeks.  That was interesting to say the least.  Those preschool mom's didn't know what to say to me, when I showed up with a baby.  One mom, she kept looking at me and finally, says to me, "please forgive me, but, you never looked pregnant, did you have a baby?  That is a loaded question for the 5 minutes that you are in the hallway with people that you hardly know.  That is always the dilemma.  What and how much to say.  If you say, "oh no, he is adopted, some people smile and say congratulations, but others just go for the jugular.  A million "personal" questions.  You wouldn't believe how bold some people are.  My biggest concern has always been, that I don't want my kids to hear people ask disrespectful questions, like, "what is the matter with her".  That's my personal favorite.  Really?  Am I suppose to answer that?

Anyways, back to the day at hand.  We were busy, getting ready for some visitors, when the phone rang.  It was our agency.  Today was the day that our birthmother was going to court for the relinquishing of her rights.  She asked if I could bring the kids to meet with them after the court hearing.  This had become a common practice for us during the process.  I was nervous.  I always got nervous.  I am not sure why.  She is a very sweet woman and I know that she has great love for all of my kids.  I think that the nerves come from the feelings that I don't want her to be disappointed.  I want her to look at them and feel that they look happy and well.  I can't imagine what she feels, I can only respect her and what she is to them. 

All the way to the meeting, I was reminding the boys about who she was and why we were going.  At their ages, most of it is still confusing, so I didn't get too detailed.  When we pulled up to McDonald's, I took a deep breath, gathered my thoughts and grabbed all four kids and headed in.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Finally Home

We finally took our little Benjamin home at the end of his fourth day in the hospital.  He was finally holding his oxygen saturation level above 95 and we were so excited.  I must tell you.....I was kinda scared.  This was new territory for me.  When Cameron was born, he struggled a little to keep it up, but not like Benjamin.  I called home on the way to let everyone know that little brother was on his way and I could hear the kids screaming and jumping up and down in the background.  They were so excited.  Jerry and I were very quiet and content on that ride home.  Things were as they should be.  He looked at me and said, "we are getting pretty good at this, aren't we?".  We laughed.  Five and a half years ago, we were looking at each other, worried that we would never know the joy of taking our baby home, and here we are taking home number four.  Life is sure full of twists and turns, ups and downs and behind every cloud, we have surely found our rainbows. 
We are complete: Benjamin is Home

Now the story of how our family came to be has come full circle, but I assure you that the surprises do not stop coming.  Please continue to follow our story as we grow together as a family and I share our experiences of raising children through adoption.  These children not only have Jerry and I forever, but they will forever have their biological connection to one another.  They are little angels sent straight from heaven into our lives.  We are forever thankful to our birthmother, our agency and for an amazing community that embraced us and our journey.  Most of all to our families for their unending love and support.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Am I Crazy?

Wow.  Today, someone asked me, "how can you share such tender moments about your family with the public"?  She said, "I could never do THAT to my family".

Whether she could understand it or not.  This is what I said.  My pain went so deep when I was going through infertility.  Sometimes, I thought that I would never be happy again.  Surgeries, shots, medications.  Negative pregnancy tests.  Miscarriages.  When you are in it, you feel loss of control of your life.  Your life has become about...getting pregnant.  Through it, I realized that...the getting pregnant part was actually a small part of the whole process of becoming a parent.  Once that nine months was over, we were all in the same boat, no matter where the babies came from.  My reason for sharing my story is simple.  To let women and men know that, yes, the process is painful and sometimes, we can change directions and follow another road, such as adoption.  In the end....we are parents searching for a child to matter how you get there.  It doesn't matter whether she understood me or not....there are people out there who do.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

A SWIRL of Emotion

Journal entry dated May ##, 2006 - End of Day 2 for Benjamin.  Still can't take him home.  I am swirling with emotion.  I am excited about our new baby.  Overwhelmed by the details.  Scared about him maintaining his oxygen sat level...and simply exhausted by the process.  Two days ago, I was enjoying Spring's arrival and preparing for the seasons planting time, which I absolutey love.  Spring is my favorite time of year.  I feel guilty that I am sad about the loss of enjoying that time this year. It won't happen now.  A new baby takes over your life, in a good way, but nonetheless.....takes over.  I sound like one of those MOMs that I used to get mad at when they would complain about being pregnant... I remember wanting to poke their eyes out! jk.  It is not that I am ungrateful.  Just in a swirl of emotions.  Things will calm down.  He is amazing.  I just haven't really stopped to let it all soak in.  I have the most amazing support system.  Monica, Marla, Lisa and most of all Mom and Mom-in-law.  Jerry offers physical support, but it is these women who offer me the emotional support and allow me to not have to "be the perfect adoptive mother".  I have to allow myself to feel all the emotions and talk about it.  Two days ago, I thought my family was complete and we were done.  It takes a minute to adjust.  I am getting there.  I am so worried about Benjamin.  I hope tomorrow he can come home.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

No going home today

Journal entry dated May ##, 2006 - We met our fourth little angel today.  He is so beautiful.  It was so hard to leave him there tonight, but we had to go to Meijer and get supplies for bringing him home.  We named him Benjamin.  I can tell already that he is a gentle soul.  We may not be able to bring him home right away.  His oxygen saturation level keeps dropping to under 90.  This happened when Cameron was born as well.  But it wasn't as low as Benjamin's.  Not sure why this happens, but my mind wonders.  Our birthmom never has any prenatal care with her pregnancies, which is frustrating, but I have no control over it, so I try not to "go there".  We have had indications in the past that there has been alcohol and drug use, but fortunately, she stops once she knows she is pregnant.  It is a tough thing.  I try to remember that, I have no control before they enter my world, but I sure do once they are here.  I can't wait to get back there tomorrow.

We once again had to get physicals, security clearances and fill out lots of paperwork, and then we headed to the hospital to spend the day with Benjamin.  He struggled to keep his oxygen saturation level above 90 the whole second day of his life, therefore, he would not be going home with us....yet. 

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Beautiful Baby Boy

May 2006

The ride to the hospital was the same as the other 3 times.  Exciting.  Once again, we talked about names.  I was wondering...would he look like Jacob and Amanda, fair skinned, light hair and blue eyes? Or, would he have dark eyes and lots of hair like Cameron did.  I wondered if we would get to see "her" this time.  Actually, this time, I was hoping that we would not see her.  The agency said that she was really eager to get out of the hospital.  It is probably because after each birth, they try to convince her to get her tubes tied.  She does not want to.  Her reasons are her own and no one should tell her how to feel, but I must say that at this point, I am concerned about her well being and how she can keep going through this.

When we got to the hospital, we were greeted once again by an amazing nursing staff who was thrilled to see us.  As I was guided to the nursery, my heart rate went up at the anticipation of seeing my new little sweetheart.  A surge of heat raced through my body.  There he was......big blue eyes, lots of dark brown hair and the most beautiful olive skin I had ever seen.  Oh my goodness, he is BEAUTIFUL.  He was a combination of all three of his older brothers and sister.  I couldn't wait to get my hands on him.  They sat me in a white rocking chair in the nursery and placed him into my arms and all at once, I was overcome with emotion.   It was then that I knew that this moment was meant to be and he was where he was supposed to his mommy's arms.  I looked down and with my shaking thumb, I rubbed his little cheek and said, "hi Benjamin, welcome to our world".

Meet our Baby Benjamin

Monday, April 4, 2011

Sherrie Eldridge: What Makes Adoptees Grow?

Sherrie Eldridge: What Makes Adoptees Grow?: "Dear friends, Ever seen a rose that's been stricken by an unexpected frost begin to open? Leaves that were once damaged by the elements drop..."

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Bringing Home Baby Mode

Even though, I could hear the voice on the other end, the words were mumbled.  I was staring out the bay window in my kitchen, thinking to myself, "um, am I ready for whatever she is mumbling about right now?".  I pulled myself together and heard, "now, I don't want you to feel OBLIGATED to take this baby."

It was now 2:03pm....5 minutes later and I still was in a panic and not hearing well.  I mean, I just came off of one of the worst months in my life and things are settling down....I have 3 beautiful children and my life is GREAT.  Honestly, for the first time since we started adopting babies from this birthmother, the thought crossed my many more will there be?  Is there an end?  Will I be adopting children for the next 15 years?  She is only 32 years old at this point.  Wow.  I asked for a little time to call Jerry and talk it over with him.  She said that we had about and hour and then they would start preparing to contact another family.  Whoa!  Back up the cart BABE.  I need more than an hour to locate Jerry and discuss our options.  After Amanda came to us, we told the agency that we were done.  So, getting this call was my greatest fear, because as long as I didn't know about any future children, I would be ok.  Knowing changes everything.  My hands were shaking.  The agency said that they needed our permission to put our kids names in any future court records regarding other families adopting their biological siblings.  That's why they called. 

I hung up the phone and called Jerry.  Thank goodness he was in his car and not on an escalator this time.  I really thought that he was going to way, we said we were done.  To my surprise, he said, "what's one more", "as long as you can handle it".   Not sure if I can handle it is what I thought to myself.  I know what my mother will say.  She is the one who listens to me on the phone for hours when I am overwhelmed.  She wants me to enjoy motherhood.  I know what she means. 

At this point, I am still sitting in my kitchen alone.  Amanda is watching Blues Clues in the living room and Jacob and Cameron need to be picked up from Preschool soon.  It is now 2:20pm and I still don't know what I am going to do.  I can feel my heart beating in my chest and I swear that I can feel the blood racing through my body.  I can't stand the thought of this child going to some family that I don't know anything about.  He is the biological sibling of my children.  This was way more than I was equipped for a Tuesday afternoon. 

At 2:34pm, I called Jerry back and told him to get his butt home, because we were going to meet our new son, because he belongs with us.  We will now be a family of six.  I let the agency know that we would be there in a few hours.  I  picked up the boys and arranged for a sitter for the kids and started to get my mind in "bringing home a baby" mode.  Thank God we never had that garage sale.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

4 weeks of Chaos

I was flipping through one of Amanda's baby journals this morning and came across a doosie of an entry.  I am so glad that I wrote this stuff down, because I forget about some cool and some not so cool stuff.  She was about 18 months old and we were in the middle of getting ready for a spring garage sale.

Amanda Baby Journal entry dated April 2, 2006 - Amanda, you are digging all the preparations for our garage sale.  I put items in a box to sell, and you take them out when I am not looking and run them upstairs to your closet.  Parting with your baby items is tough for a little chickie.  I get it.  I tend to be a pack rat.  We are a family of five and busting out of this house.  I highly doubt that there will be any more brothers or sisters coming, so we need to get rid of all the baby stuff.  We just accepted an offer on the house and are waiting for the inspection.  I can't wait to see where we end up.

Journal entry dated April 6, 2006 - Jerry and I had a bombshell today.  While looking for houses, we got a call from our agent.  The inspector for our sale found mold in our attic and the buyer wants to back out.  He is freaked out.  We offered to get the mold remediation done along with a warranty, but the guy is leary.  I sure hope this all works out.  I want to move out of this house.  It is too small.  Getting 3 quotes this week.

Journal entry dated April 10, 2006 - Mold Remediation is underway.  The kids and I moved in with Mom and Dad until it is all done.  Unfortunately, the house is back on the market and we have stopped looking for houses.  Jerry is frustrated with this whole mess.  We all are.  I keep trying to look on the bright side.  On top of everything, I got a call today that someone stole our credit card and charged a bunch of airline tickets to Belize....can you believe that.  The kids are doing well being displaced.  Mom and Dad are being great about all of this.  I guess the garage sale will have to wait awhile.  Drama, Drama, Drama.

Journal entry dated May 1, 2006 - It is so good to be back home and resuming all of our plans.  Hopefully, we will get another buyer for the house soon.  I hate selling a house.  Especially with 3 kids.  Tomorrow I am gonna start planning the garage sale again.  I need order.

Journal entry dated May 2, 2006 - Dear Journal.  All I can say right now is that.....the phone rang today at 1:57 pm and I looked at the caller ID....Forever Families.  I sat down, took a deep breathe, blew it out, said, Dear Lord.....give me strength.....and then, I picked it up.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Mommy thoughts on baby girls birthday

Amanda's Journal entry dated October 2005 -  Happy Birthday my little one year old.  I can't believe how fast it has all gone.  In summation of your first year of life, I would say that you are a happy little girl.  You simply adore your big brothers and you manage to keep up with them quite well.  You are TOUGH.  It takes a lot to make you cry.  I would  call you "feisty".  Quite demanding at times, but very determined to learn to do everything on your own.  You are a loving baby with lots of kisses to give.    Everyday when Daddy comes home, you are the first one in his arms at the door. It sure makes him smile.  You are very close to your Poppa B.  He adores you.  He and Grammy just love to have you for sleepovers.  I will tell you little girl, that through you, I have realized just how much that my Daddy must have adored me.  I really had never thought about it.  Watching the way that he looks at you and and how he enjoys the moment when he is with you, makes me so happy that you have him.  It is like you and him have your own language.  I've never seen him light up like he does when he is with you.  He is a special man and you will always be able to count on him, No Matter What!!  When I think of all that we have been able to give to you in your little life, it is people like Poppa that I am the most happy about sharing with you.  Love - Mommy

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