Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Priceless Silver Linings

The other day, we packed up the car and headed to my parents house, who live about 75 minutes from our home.  This was a drive that we have taken millions of times.  From as far back as I can remember, I would have to "plan" for the hour long trek, based on the ages of the kids at the time.  Music, snacks, drinks, DS's, and all of the paraphernalia that goes with that.  In the early years, I even kept a porta potty in there, since it is hard to stop for a potty break for one, if the other is sleeping.  Never wake a napping baby in the car.  You know what I mean.

About a year ago, myself and 3 of my 4 kids were in a bad car accident.  It was scary.  Rear ended at 55 miles per hour.  We were stopped.  I have been through a lot with injuries and the kids have suffered some aches and pains due to that accident.  Still dealing with the lingering injuries, I am bitter about the whole accident, as I have had knee surgery, and the knee feels like it will never be the same.  I am still suffering from so much back, shoulder and neck pain.  On top of that, it appears that I have suffered short term memory loss.  I find it difficult to read. That accident has caused so much turmoil for us in the last year, including, the fact that the car that was totalled, was LOADED.  My replacement.....not so much.  We have learned to live without the heated seats, dvd player, leather seats, but we had paid for the other car for so long and were 2 payments away from owning it outright.  I know....it still burns to say it.  Needless to say, we didn't get enough to replace the loaded one and took a bit of a down grade.  I won't lie, I have groaned quite a bit about it, but I am getting over it.  

While on that trip the other day in our owned clunker, across three counties, something wonderful happened, and believe it or not, I don't think that it would have happened had we not been in that accident.  Yup, I said it.  Since there was no dvd player, a rather interesting conversation broke out amongst the kids. All four were interacting.  The subject.  Their adoption stories.  I realized that over the years, I had been sharing each of their stories with them individually, but we had never had a group discussion.  There was such excitement in their voices and I heard great pride in each of them as they told the story of the day they were born. Then.....they started firing questions at me.  Yikes, I thought.  I have to be careful, because the nine and ten year old know more about their birth family than the five and six year old.  After the stories were told, my daughter (6y/o) says, "hey, mom, I guess we are kinda special".  Yep, you are.

I must tell you, that as an adoptive mother, I was beaming.  You just never know, until you hear it out of their mouth, whether or not you've reached them with all the talking.  I could see right away that they are all confident in their story of adoption and have developed quite a comfort level in asking questions.  They do not fear talking with me about anything.  They know that I am on their side. I guess, I am doing OK.  Most of all, I loved the enthusiasm that I saw in that rear view mirror.   

So, I guess, my point here, is that not having all the amenities in our vehicle, has allowed for so many more opportunities for family discussion in the car and maybe something good came out of our nasty car accident experience.  Priceless silver linings.  But, in cold Michigan winters, I still miss my heated seats.  Grrrr.

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