Fleeting thought.....

I have spent so much time worrying about staying in tune with where my children are at emotionally in life and with their adoptions, that sometimes I forget to allow myself my OWN feelings. Watching #parenthood this week, I got lost in the scene where Kristina was giving birth and for just a moment, I felt envious. Why? The experience. That is all. Just the experience. I have everything else that comes with motherhood, but I don't have that experience of giving birth. That doesn't make me less of an adoptive mother, but just a realist. Trust me, I wouldn't change a thing. Just curious about the whole thing...you know?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

SHOCK!

Journal entry dated November 11, 2000 - I am still in SHOCK.  Shaking. My stomach feels like I am in an airplane and we are experiencing turbulence.  Today is Veterans Day and since Jerry had the day off, we decided to go hang out with Jerry's parents and maybe do a little Christmas shopping.  We were sitting on the couch chatting when the phone rang.  My mother in law answered it and came around the corner from the kitchen and whispered to me, "its the adoption agency".  She says, "they said they have been looking for you".  I told her to "RELAX, we finished our home study yesterday and they probably have a question for us." I picked up the phone and said "Hello".  The next few minutes, I would be silent and frozen in my footsteps, for fear that I may be misunderstanding our Social workers words.  "We have a baby boy here at the hospital and the mother has selected you and Jerry to become the adoptive parents."  Not sure that I ...
Read more

Dear Birthmother

I am going to share a very personal letter with you today.  This letter came from my heart.  It is our "Dear Birthmother" letter.   This was a very challenging letter to write.  I was trying to keep in mind how a birth mother would be feeling as she read our letter and what words would comfort her as she made, what seemed to me, to be an impossible decision.  We couldn't possibly understand where each other was coming from, but I felt that there had to be some common ground for us to meet.  The agency told us that you never know what one peice of information may draw a birth mother to you, so we should be thorough and full of detail.  This is our letter. Dear Birthmother, Selecting a future home and family for your child is a very difficult and important decision.  We greatly respect and appreciate your need to know about us and the kind of home that we would provide for your child.  By gaining some insight i...
Read more

My Mommy

Image
Today is a celebration of mothers everywhere.  I am blessed with an amazing mother as well as a lovely mother in law who treats me as if I were her own.  The list is long and endless on how many great things that I could say about my mommy, but I want to share the most important thing that she ever gave me as mother.  No matter what the time of my life or the situation that we were in, my mother always listened with an open heart.   In my mind, I could not surprise her with the level of mischief that I would get into.  I could not say anything mean enough to rattle her.  No sex question through her off guard.  She was my rock.  I am sure that inside she wanted to lambaste me a few times, but she always exhibited great self control.  I admire her for that, because as a mother, I now know just how hard that was.  Through the years, I must say that I challenged her self control quite a bit, especially in the 15 -17 year ...
Read more