Mommie or Bust ~ A Mother’s Journey Through Adoption

Postpartum depression is moderate to severe depression in a woman after she has given birth. It may occur soon after delivery or up to a year later. Most of the time, it occurs within the first 3 months after delivery http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0004481/ Post Adoption Depression Syndrome    Your baby was more adorable in person than pictures. You and your husband never felt so thrilled and fulfilled as you held her in your arms on the flight home. Your ten-year quest for a child is finally over, you are a family now and forever. This little one is finally yours! One month later...... You feel anxious and depressed, but more often, simply overwhelmed. Some mornings you don't get dressed. You don't feel any great love for your child, and you can barely make it through your day. Even your husband doesn't understand. In your deepest, most private moments, you wish you could give your baby back. Sound familiar? There is so much information availabl...

Sitting in that room full of other patients, who were in the "same boat" as I, was surreal.  I was really here.  Who would have thought.  Not me.  I always prided myself on being STRONG.  Stronger than most.  I realize that stronger isn't always better.....just maybe more stubborn?  I've been called stubborn a time or two in my life.  The thing in my favor, was that I like to dig down deep and figure things out.  I am not the kind of person to make mistakes and repeat them.  I want to learn from them and grow as a person should.  What I would learn in these days in group therapy, is that depression has nothing to do with how strong you are or how well adjusted you think that you are.  It is not something that you can WILL away.  You can't "SNAP" out of it.  Believe it or not, some people think that you can JUST SNAP OUT of it.  Yep.  I am not kidding. I would also learn that,  the day I went t...

And baby makes Four!! Jerry, Amy, Jacob and Cameron Well, as you can imagine, things kicked up a bit with the arrival of Baby Cameron.  We took him home from the hospital 3 days after he was born.  I must tell you that in those days before he came home, I was more scared than I had ever been.  I was not convinced that I could handle this.  He was so stinken cute and such a precious baby, but I did not really embrace all of it quite the same as when Jacob came into our lives.  There wasn't anyone I could tell that I wasn't ready for this.  When Cameron came I felt forced to accept the "wonderful-ness" of it all against my real fears of not being ready for a second child.  In most of the pictures taken of me in the first few months, I kinda looked like a deer in headlights.  No Kidding. In the first 2 months, I lost a lot of sleep between the two of them taking turns waking me all night.  I also came down with pneumonia....