Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Tree of Life

Journal entry dated September 1' 2006 - struggling with sending Jacob to school for kindergarten. I know that all mom's go through this, but the thing that I worry about the most, is him being adopted. Should I tell people? Keep it to myself? It is in his records. What will he want? We've been so open up til now, but what now? Kids just want to fit in and NOT be different. My feelings have always been that when they got to school, I would take their lead. This is tough. I only get one shot at doing this right. Well, with him anyway. When I look at him, he still looks like a baby. How do I let go? How did I get here so fast? I waited for him for what seamed like forever and now....I have to let him go off into the world without me.
My Jacob is graduating from elementary school this week and headed to intermediate next fall, and I have been reminiscing about how nervous I was when he entered kindergarten.  I can barely recognize that innocent little 5 year old that set off into the world to discover the path towards his own journey through life.  Laying down the roots of who he will become.  Like a tree of life.  He has grown into to an amazing young man who shines like a star in the sky.  Each new experience sprouting new branches to build on his own tree of life.  I choke up each time I think about how he is not a little boy anymore, but a young man on a mission to succeed.  It is bittersweet.  I still remember the day that we got that life changing phone call.  It seems like yesterday. 

Whew.  I well up inside at the pride that I feel knowing that this special young man, started out as my little baby boy.  I am forever grateful for the blessing of getting to watch him grow. Like a tree of life.

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