A Meeting with our Birth MOM
Late May 2006
So, it is a Spring day today full with sunshine. My baby is 4 weeks old. My older children are 5yrs, 4yrs and 18 months. I was handling things pretty well. Amanda is a little helper. The boys were excited about the change of season and getting to play outside. We were thoroughly enjoying the day. I had not really ventured out much on my own with the four of them, other than to take Jacob and Cameron to preschool for the remaining few weeks. That was interesting to say the least. Those preschool mom's didn't know what to say to me, when I showed up with a baby. One mom, she kept looking at me and finally, says to me, "please forgive me, but, you never looked pregnant, did you have a baby? That is a loaded question for the 5 minutes that you are in the hallway with people that you hardly know. That is always the dilemma. What and how much to say. If you say, "oh no, he is adopted, some people smile and say congratulations, but others just go for the jugular. A million "personal" questions. You wouldn't believe how bold some people are. My biggest concern has always been, that I don't want my kids to hear people ask disrespectful questions, like, "what is the matter with her". That's my personal favorite. Really? Am I suppose to answer that?
Anyways, back to the day at hand. We were busy, getting ready for some visitors, when the phone rang. It was our agency. Today was the day that our birthmother was going to court for the relinquishing of her rights. She asked if I could bring the kids to meet with them after the court hearing. This had become a common practice for us during the process. I was nervous. I always got nervous. I am not sure why. She is a very sweet woman and I know that she has great love for all of my kids. I think that the nerves come from the feelings that I don't want her to be disappointed. I want her to look at them and feel that they look happy and well. I can't imagine what she feels, I can only respect her and what she is to them.
All the way to the meeting, I was reminding the boys about who she was and why we were going. At their ages, most of it is still confusing, so I didn't get too detailed. When we pulled up to McDonald's, I took a deep breath, gathered my thoughts and grabbed all four kids and headed in.
So, it is a Spring day today full with sunshine. My baby is 4 weeks old. My older children are 5yrs, 4yrs and 18 months. I was handling things pretty well. Amanda is a little helper. The boys were excited about the change of season and getting to play outside. We were thoroughly enjoying the day. I had not really ventured out much on my own with the four of them, other than to take Jacob and Cameron to preschool for the remaining few weeks. That was interesting to say the least. Those preschool mom's didn't know what to say to me, when I showed up with a baby. One mom, she kept looking at me and finally, says to me, "please forgive me, but, you never looked pregnant, did you have a baby? That is a loaded question for the 5 minutes that you are in the hallway with people that you hardly know. That is always the dilemma. What and how much to say. If you say, "oh no, he is adopted, some people smile and say congratulations, but others just go for the jugular. A million "personal" questions. You wouldn't believe how bold some people are. My biggest concern has always been, that I don't want my kids to hear people ask disrespectful questions, like, "what is the matter with her". That's my personal favorite. Really? Am I suppose to answer that?
Anyways, back to the day at hand. We were busy, getting ready for some visitors, when the phone rang. It was our agency. Today was the day that our birthmother was going to court for the relinquishing of her rights. She asked if I could bring the kids to meet with them after the court hearing. This had become a common practice for us during the process. I was nervous. I always got nervous. I am not sure why. She is a very sweet woman and I know that she has great love for all of my kids. I think that the nerves come from the feelings that I don't want her to be disappointed. I want her to look at them and feel that they look happy and well. I can't imagine what she feels, I can only respect her and what she is to them.
All the way to the meeting, I was reminding the boys about who she was and why we were going. At their ages, most of it is still confusing, so I didn't get too detailed. When we pulled up to McDonald's, I took a deep breath, gathered my thoughts and grabbed all four kids and headed in.
AND???? Cliff hanger??? Come on! No fair! Waiting for your tweet of the posting of what happens.
ReplyDelete