No going home today

Journal entry dated May ##, 2006 - We met our fourth little angel today.  He is so beautiful.  It was so hard to leave him there tonight, but we had to go to Meijer and get supplies for bringing him home.  We named him Benjamin.  I can tell already that he is a gentle soul.  We may not be able to bring him home right away.  His oxygen saturation level keeps dropping to under 90.  This happened when Cameron was born as well.  But it wasn't as low as Benjamin's.  Not sure why this happens, but my mind wonders.  Our birthmom never has any prenatal care with her pregnancies, which is frustrating, but I have no control over it, so I try not to "go there".  We have had indications in the past that there has been alcohol and drug use, but fortunately, she stops once she knows she is pregnant.  It is a tough thing.  I try to remember that, I have no control before they enter my world, but I sure do once they are here.  I can't wait to get back there tomorrow.
**

We once again had to get physicals, security clearances and fill out lots of paperwork, and then we headed to the hospital to spend the day with Benjamin.  He struggled to keep his oxygen saturation level above 90 the whole second day of his life, therefore, he would not be going home with us....yet. 

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