Mommie or Bust ~ A Mother’s Journey Through Adoption

The other day, we packed up the car and headed to my parents house, who live about 75 minutes from our home.  This was a drive that we have taken millions of times.  From as far back as I can remember, I would have to "plan" for the hour long trek, based on the ages of the kids at the time.  Music, snacks, drinks, DS's, and all of the paraphernalia that goes with that.  In the early years, I even kept a porta potty in there, since it is hard to stop for a potty break for one, if the other is sleeping.  Never wake a napping baby in the car.  You know what I mean. About a year ago, myself and 3 of my 4 kids were in a bad car accident.  It was scary.  Rear ended at 55 miles per hour.  We were stopped.  I have been through a lot with injuries and the kids have suffered some aches and pains due to that accident.  Still dealing with the lingering injuries, I am bitter about the whole accident, as I have had knee surgery, and the knee fe...

I do not want to sound like a broken record, but......I am again going to reach out to you who are trying to decide on whether to adopt....or not. What is holding you back? Is it the cost? Is it the work involved? Is it scary? No guarantee? I totally understand all of these things. All of these issues are on the minds of many who are considering adoption. You are not alone. Do you worry that you won't bond with a child that is not your own? Are you worried about being responsible for the psychological well being of a child who will have to accept being adopted? Do you worry about adopting a child not knowing the medical history of the child? All of these worries are manageable. Really. I pose this question to you. Are you ok with never sharing your personal gifts with a child who desperately needs and deserves a mommy, daddy or family? Maybe you are a couple who has struggled through infertility and you are beat up and giving up. Don't. Maybe you are a wom...

This one is for you Dad. Yes, you . I still feel the strength from you holding my hand . The one who stood back and watched over me as I tested my wings, ready to catch me if I fell.  The one who sang my praises to all who would listen, whether I deserved it or not. The one who taught me that discipline and hard work would get me where I needed to be. Yes, Dad, you gave me strength and the conviction to chase my dreams. I am so much like you Dad, and I am proud of it. You didn't always get the glory, but you were always there in the trenches of raising me through trials and tribulations. You showed me what a good man looked like so that I would recognize it when choosing a partner.  Thank you for being what I needed from a father every step of the way. It is a blessing that I get to share you with my own children. They don't realize it now, but someday they will look back and know in there hearts the rare treasure that they call Papa B.   Happy Father...

If you are a SAHM like me, then, I am sure you have already heard the same thing as I have....."I'm bored, there is nothing to do".  Tired of hearing this,  I gave them the "when I was a kid" speech and they rolled their eyes at me (no surprise).  I felt that they were taking their summer for granted and needed to appreciate their lives.  So I put my thinking cap on.  My kids are active.  They love to get out and run around.  I decided that I wanted to give them a Value what you Have Moment .  I had to hone in on something that would inspire them. Then it came to me.   I tiptoed around the house collecting items for our day, while they were playing Rock Band on the Wii.  I loaded the car up with all of the favorites...football, soccer ball, basketball and a few baseball mitts.  I threw some snacks and a water jug in and summoned them all to the foyer.  They were full of questions, but not surprised, since I am the ...

H ow did you know?  She asked.  The noise level was escalating with the arrival of each guest.  You know the buzz of the room when women gather to celebrate the joining of two lovebirds, or the expected offspring of said lovebirds.  There is just something in the air at these events.  Everyone leaves their troubles at the door.  For a few hours, we will just chat, reminisce and drink punch.  Yes, I was at a bridal shower to celebrate my cousins upcoming nuptials.  When she was 5, she stood up in my first wedding.  Yes, I said first.  Not many know that I had a brief lapse of judgement and got married to the "one, I was with".  You know what I mean.  Don't Judge.  Some of you have done it too.  Thank GOD I woke up, before children. Anyways, I will get back to my point.  I just can't believe that she is all grown up and getting ready to begin her life with the love of her life.  It is very sweet.  You ca...

Journal entry dated September 1' 2006 - struggling with sending Jacob to school for kindergarten. I know that all mom's go through this, but the thing that I worry about the most, is him being adopted. Should I tell people? Keep it to myself? It is in his records. What will he want? We've been so open up til now, but what now? Kids just want to fit in and NOT be different. My feelings have always been that when they got to school, I would take their lead. This is tough. I only get one shot at doing this right. Well, with him anyway. When I look at him, he still looks like a baby. How do I let go? How did I get here so fast? I waited for him for what seamed like forever and now....I have to let him go off into the world without me. **** My Jacob is graduating from elementary school this week and headed to intermediate next fall, and I have been reminiscing about how nervous I was when he entered kindergarten.  I can barely recognize that innocent little 5 year old that se...

I had a very wonderful "adoptive " mommie moment, that I can't wait to share. This one was between my daughter and I. She is 6 almost 7. She was having a bit of a meltdown while we were dining in a somewhat expensive restaurant while on vacation. I was operating on my very last nerve and that nerve was shredding minute by minute. She didn't like the menu. I had to "remove" her from the table to go to have a quiet "word" with her about her behavior. She was looking at me with those big watery eyes and said, "thank you Mommie, I couldn't even think, I just needed to have a timeout". Stunned, I hugged her tightly and grabbed her hand and we headed back to the table. Just before we got there, she looked up at me and said, "boy Mom, you sure do really know me, thanks, I love you so much, I could just squish you". This moment would be meaningful to any mom, but to an adoptive mom, it is a reminder that, YOU are their mommie f...