I Picked it UP

After standing there for a while, I was realizing that the dilemma was not going to go away.  My first thoughts were, that, if there was a baby......I had already been thinking about all of this, just in case.  I had become more and more secure in the decision that we were done adopting children.  Our family is complete.  That said, I know myself, and if there is another baby, my first instincts are to hop in the car and run down to that hospital to claim that baby for my own.  After all, if their birthmother does not want to mother the baby, of course, it is mine.  Right?  In my heart YES, but in reality, the baby is no one's....yet.  

So, I picked it up....I squeaked out a shaky "hello".   "Hello Amy."  I sat down in my favorite kitchen chair and listened to the words.......baby boy.  I know that I must have looked like a mannequin, I didn't move.  My body was stiff as a board.  The tension setting in, mixed with the excitement of a new baby in the world.  My head and heart started battling before the call ended.  They gave me two hours to make a decision.  Two hours.  A life changing decision in two hours. 

There was no way that Jerry was gonna go for this.  He is done and ready to move on to the next chapter with our kids.  I am too, but.....there is a baby that needs a mommy and daddy at the hospital and he is waiting....